just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
