So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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