Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize