Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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