no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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