Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
soo... how was my night?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
