tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize