all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize