I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize