I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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