Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
