I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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