It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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