my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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