guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
