well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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