I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
