He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
