is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
