Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
