Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
