I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize