Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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