If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
