I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
