She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
