White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
