True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
