Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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