Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
