I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize