she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
