Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
