I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
