He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
