at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
