My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
