Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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