Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
