Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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