We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
