my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
