I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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