Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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