Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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