He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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