and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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