I love black thongs
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
