Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
