Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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