All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
