Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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