Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
