Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
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i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
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By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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