You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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