would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
