Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
