She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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