I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
