we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
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He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
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So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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