This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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