Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize