i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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