clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Enjoy the penises
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
