Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Someone came in the potted fern
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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