do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
